His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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