1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
