meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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