My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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