so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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