I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
