That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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