$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
