is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hippo gnu deer
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
