just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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