Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
