Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
