Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
