I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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