Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
