dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
