Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
