I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
