Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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