she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
