i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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