Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
