I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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