I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
