And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
