It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
