in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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