we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize