Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You smell like stripper and shame
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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