$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
