I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
