do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Randomize
