Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
