You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
