My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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