He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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