that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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