More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
