Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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