so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
