tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
