talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
