THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
