i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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