i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
