? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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