So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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