Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
