You're my little dorito
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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