He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
where am i from again
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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