if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
