Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
