I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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