used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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