Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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