He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They took my balls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize