I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
