the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
